You have heard that announcement in the airport - "please do not leave your bags unattended". We all know the reason isn't because the airport is worried that someone is going to steal them - it's that they want to make sure no one takes your bag and adds something illegal or deadly to it.
Well - I must have left my bags unattended. I was having a lovely Saturday - enjoying the warm spring weather - when my suitcase was snatched and returned without my ever knowing it. I didn't realize it until I heard what was coming out of it. I heard words that were truthful - but words that I didn't see coming. Words that I REALLY didn't want to hear. The very thing I am trying my hardest to let go of, yet having the most incredibly difficult time doing, came screaming right back at me. And it wasn't from my own doing this time - which is usually how it happens. No, it was the words from others. All the raw and painful emotions came rushing back. This thing I am trying to move forward from has some kind of hook that has me unable to let go. My heart physically hurts from it. The pain, disappointment and confusion, even jealousy - that I so deperately want to be free from - and thought I was getting there - feels as raw and fresh as ever right now.
And I know two things are working here - which seems odd to me that they can work in tandem.
My first thought is that Satan knows where I am weak and he comes at me - especially as he sees me growing stronger and more faithful. He always hits us right in our soft spot. He has that knack. But what I am sure frustrates him to no end is the next thing I know!
That is that God is using the words that I heard to bring the truth more clearly to my eyes. He (God) KNOWS that I am still not giving it all to Him. He longs to be the Lover of my Soul - to comfort me, to be sufficient for ALL my needs. Yet, I continue to let the hook keep me from giving it all to Him. I hold out hope where all of my HOPE should be souly placed in God and God alone. There are no guarantees in life - NONE! But I do have the guarantee that God will be sufficient for my needs. That HIS love and grace will be more than I could ever need or get from anything or anyone on this earth. My head knows that - now - I just need to get my heart to listen a little more closely and see.
The song "Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord" comes to mind...maybe that is what He was doing Saturday when my suitcase came back with more than I bargained for - he was opening the eyes of my heart.